Willkommen, Gast
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23 Dez 2023
Allen Freunden, Lesern und Unterstützern dieses Forums wünschen wir ein strahlendes Weihnachtsfest, umgeben von Liebe und Wärme, sowie einen sanften Übergang in das neue Jahr. Möge 2024 uns viele unvergessliche Momente schenken und uns mit positiven Überraschungen überschütten.
Frohe Weihnachten und einen zauberhaften Start ins neue Jahr!
Euer Citroen SM Club Deutschland.

THEMA: Frage

Subject 22 Mär 2012 15:50 #21

hehe..
  • Sonja
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Subject 22 Mär 2012 15:11 #22

The Irish Millionaire
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The Irish Millionaire

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
"but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question.
"Will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow



b) Thrush,


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c) Magpie,



d) Cuckoo?"



"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,

''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ..."



Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.


"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fookin sure."
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is."

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"


"Because he lives in a Fookin clock!"
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Subject 16 Mär 2012 18:21 #23

lol
Nein !
Doch !
Oooohhhh !

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Subject 15 Mär 2012 12:19 #24

Voll korrekt, Gerold, voll korrekt.


Viele Grüße

Helge
Der Weg ist das Ziel!

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Subject 15 Mär 2012 12:16 #25

Hier, exklusiv Andy gewidmet und garantiert nicht PC:



Eine Ossifrau, ein Rollstuhlfahrer, ein Vietnamese und ein Schwuler kommen in eine Bar.

Sagt der Barkeeper: "Was seid denn Ihr für ein lustiger Haufen?"

"Was heißt hier lustiger Haufen? Wir sind die Bundesregierung!"



.

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Subject 15 Mär 2012 11:54 #26

"A Chihuahua ? They gave me a fucking Chihuahua ?!"

YESS!


Viele Grüße

Helge
Der Weg ist das Ziel!

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Subject 15 Mär 2012 10:31 #27

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Two women were out for a Saturday stroll.
One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend,
"Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there.
We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses
and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua
was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,
"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said, ........

"A Chihuahua ? They gave me a fucking Chihuahua ?!"
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Subject 07 Mär 2012 09:52 #28

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

sonja
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Subject 06 Mär 2012 13:11 #29

Sonja postete
das war die erste frage, die sich mir stellte, als ich die überschrift las :" wie hat er den lambo aus dem keller rausbekommen?"

der muss eine echt sehr verständnisvolle frau haben!

lg

sonja

"a tall chick
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say..."

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Subject 06 Mär 2012 10:39 #30

das war die erste frage, die sich mir stellte, als ich die überschrift las :" wie hat er den lambo aus dem keller rausbekommen?"

der muss eine echt sehr verständnisvolle frau haben!

lg

sonja
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Subject 04 Mär 2012 21:24 #31

Kleine Kellerbastelei mit finaler Ausgrabungsarbeit.

www.stumbleupon.com/su/9xkiiT/www.themys...in-his-basement.html

M.

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Subject 29 Feb 2012 15:10 #32

Groß. Sehr groß!


Viele Grüße

Helge
Der Weg ist das Ziel!

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Subject 29 Feb 2012 14:51 #33

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THE OSTRICH

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to
the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will
be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man
says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?"
asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and
places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,
sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change
in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered
me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,
I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!"

"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."
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Subject 13 Feb 2012 21:59 #34

Helge postete
Grandios, danke Gunther.


Viele Grüße

Helge

Richtig gut, vor allem das mit dem Senator. Volltreffer. Aber Achtung, mehr davon lieber nicht, sonst sind wir hier wieder ein Links-Forum ;)

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Subject 13 Feb 2012 15:12 #35

Dabei fällt mir ein:

Natürlich bin ich gegen Rasen auf der Autobahn!
Wer soll denn den ganzen Scheiss mähen?!


Viele Grüße

Helge
Der Weg ist das Ziel!

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Subject 13 Feb 2012 13:30 #36

Grandios, danke Gunther.


Viele Grüße

Helge
Der Weg ist das Ziel!

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Subject 13 Feb 2012 13:01 #37

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Sieben Jahre später
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Sie: "Schatzi"?

Er: "Na endlich, ich habe schon so lange gewartet!"

Sie: "Möchtest du, dass ich gehe?"

Er: "NEIN! Wie kommst du darauf? Schon die Vorstellung ist schrecklich für mich!"

Sie: "Liebst Du mich?"

Er: "Natürlich! Zu jeder Tages- und Nachtzeit!"

Sie: "Hast Du mich jemals betrogen???"

Er: "NEIN! Niemals! Warum fragst Du das?"

Sie: "Willst Du mich küssen?"

Er: "Ja, jedes Mal, wenn ich Gelegenheit dazu habe!"

Sie: "Würdest Du mich jemals schlagen?"

Er: "Bist Du wahnsinnig? Du weißt doch wie ich bin!"

Sie: "Kann ich Dir voll vertrauen?"

Er: "Ja!"

Sie: "Schatzi""

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Sieben Jahre nach der Hochzeit: Text einfach nur von unten nach oben lesen!
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Subject 13 Feb 2012 12:52 #38

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Political Heaven or Hell

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter.
"Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
"We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
"Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," saysthe Senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.
In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times
they had while getting rich at theexpense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne. Also present is the devil,
who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty
farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...
So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.
They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful,
but I think I would be better off in hell."
So, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barrenland covered with waste and garbage, and it's hot...very hot.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse,
and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
full of hot garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning,
"Today, you voted.."
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Subject 13 Feb 2012 12:42 #39

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Warum vergessen die Männer immer den Hochzeitstag, die Frauen nie?

Wie bei einem Angler, der einmal einen tollen Fisch gefangen hat, stolz darauf ist,
und diesen historischen Tag zeit seines Lebens nicht mehr vergessen wird.
Der geangelte Fisch hingegen wird sich dieses Ereignisses nicht mehr erinnern.
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Subject 25 Jan 2012 11:55 #40

stealth mode!! yeah, baby!!!
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