gute geschichte..

Helge postete
"Salzburg? ist das nicht Österreich?"
"Ich hab keine Ahnung man!"
"Da wären wir wieder bei Geometrie!"

"San Sie Alkoholiker?"

"Naa, Grazer!"

M.

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.

The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'

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Frauenkongress in Berlin

Kommt eine Deutsche ans Rednerpult: " Ich hab zu meinem Mann gesagt er solle mehr im Haushalt mithelfen und seitdem staubsaugt
er jeden Tag". Alle jubeln.
Kommt eine Französin ans Rednerpult:" Ich hab zu meinem Mann gesagt, er solle sich mehr Mühe geben im Haushalt mitzuhelfen
und seitdem schmeisst er den gesamten Haushalt". Alle jubeln.
Kommt eine Muslimin ans Rednerpult: " Ich habe zu meinem Mann gesagt, er solle mehr mithelfe in Haushalt,
erste Tag ich habe nix gesehn, zweite Tag ich habe nix gesehn, dritte Tag ich habe bisschen was auf rechtem Auge gesehn"

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Arriving In Heaven


All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.
One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one.
"I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower.
Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.
I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover.

I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his fingertips.
I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was
broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our
antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.
At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died."

The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the waiting room.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working
on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony
rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot.
I fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me.
I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest."

The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the waiting room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says
" I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the two fellow that arrived here just before you."


"I don't know" replies the man. "Picture this, I'm buck naked hiding in this cedar chest......"